For this exam, please indicate how many statements in the following conversation are lies.
Girl- (helps a man out by pushing the door open button while the door is closing on his arm, then goes back to reading a book.)
Scary Man on Trax (SMOT)- (Creepy smile and then sits in front of her...)
SMOT- Great day for a jog, isn't it? (keep in mind that it's in the middle of a blizzard)
Girl- yep (goes back to reading)
SMOT- You have a beautiful smile
Girl- Thanks...
SMOT- where are you going?
Girl- Temple Square
SMOT- What's your name?
Girl- Emily
SMOT- I'm soo glad I decided to be baptized in two weeks.
Girl- Congratulations (still has book open)Who are your missionaries?
SMOT- well.... I don't have missionaries.... My friend is going to baptize me when he comes back.
Girl- oh cool.
SMOT- What are you doing at temple square?
Girl- Meeting my fiance.
SMOT- oh... (grabs girls left hand) Is this your birth stone? (pointing out class ring on left middle finger)
Girl- no, school colors.
SMOT- What would your fiance say if you showed up with a ring pop on your finger that a guy on trax gave you?
Girl- huh... (book)
SMOT- Ya know, I knew you were a mormon when I got on the train.
Girl- huh...
SMOT- I noticed that about mormons, everyone Glows.
Girl- thanks....
SMOT- I can't wait till I get that.
Girl- Well it's the holy ghost, in two weeks you can have it. Goodbye
Please indicate what statements are false, and what you feel the girl could have done to avoid this situation. Turn in by Thursday.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Dating Research 101
What's better than a Prophet of God telling young people to get married? Watching people try. It amuses me. It's cute when a guy gets nervous around a girl he likes, or watches a stupid chick flick because he knows it'll give him brownie points.
I'm not here to talk about what I think is the "right way" to date, but to compile some ideas that I've found recently about the art of dating and courtship.
Love Languages:
One of the hardest things about being a missionary and having a 24/7 companion is learning how to express and recognize love. Many of my companions were asian... I learned just how different we were when it comes to showing our appreciation and love. She might not talk or express herself in words. well guess what, I need to hear that I'm good at something. She needs to hear that I'm thankful for what she did, but I'm prideful and would rather just give her a hug. Do you see the dilemma?
During a very emotional transfer, my wonderful mission president suggested that we discover what our "love language" was. Excuse me, what? Little did I think that this would save me in soo many ways!!
So what is a love language? First of all it's a book... i'm sure it's good and I'll read it one day. The author says about it
After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own... Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages
So what are these languages?
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
The point of this is to 1) find out which one you react to, and 2) ask the significant other what they react to. I can't expect a boyfriend to just "know", or fault him if he doesn't express love exactly in the way I want him to. Easier said than done, yeah?
If you wanna take the test and see what your love language is you can take the test...
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/
And if anyone wants to know... my love language is "words of affirmation," and "physical touch."
Mormon Man vs. Mormon Woman:
Last night at the flat I discussed with jason and ammon a list of "what men/women want" they received at FHE. I thought some were kind of stereotypical, but there were many that made me stop and think. I think one of my favorite was about how men need to feel like hero's. Girls, how often do we shoot guys down, or fail to recognize when they do something that is a big deal to them? Ammon made the point that after fixing the car he feels great about himself. Like he could accomplish anything. Well great, I don't want to ruin that.
I did a bit of research online this morning about what LDS bloggers are saying about dating and the role of women and men. I was quite surprised. There seemed to be blogs on everything from feminist movements to stereotypical housewife recipes. One particular blog, Mormon Men, caught my interest almost immediately (http://mormonmen.wordpress.com/). The author is divorced, active, and very open with his comments on women. Oddly enough I agreed with him on almost everything. His most recent article, the martyrdom of modern mormon women, was his rebuttal to an article written in a popular LDS blog about how it's all men's fault that girls don't date. He had a lot to say about that. one of my favorite quotes "Too many women, even those in the Church, have turned into narcissistic harpies who want to have their cake and eat it too. She believes that the sexual revolution has made women more valuable to men when it has done the exact opposite – it has turned them into our competitors." I might be guilty of this. How often do we as women get caught up and think that we will need to "compete" with our husbands? I'm competitive enough, why would I want that in my family? I want a companion, not a competitor.
On the opposite end of all this, I found a very interesting blog called "Feminist Mormon Housewives." This seems kind of contradictory to me. If you know me, you know that I am all about women's rights. But there are certain things that men do that we can't. Also, there are things that women do that men can't!! It's all part of our Heavenly Fathers plan for us! This blog does make me laugh... especially the coloring book article. She faults Disney for exploiting womens bodies (like tinkerbell) and making us object instead of people. What problem do I have with this? What's wrong with dressing nice to impress someone?! When I'm married I don't want to dress frumpy and ugly just because I don't have to "find" a husband any more. I want him to be happy too! You can still look hott (or dare I say... sexy?) and still conform to standards.
well this got off topic... I have to go to class...
I'm not here to talk about what I think is the "right way" to date, but to compile some ideas that I've found recently about the art of dating and courtship.
Love Languages:
One of the hardest things about being a missionary and having a 24/7 companion is learning how to express and recognize love. Many of my companions were asian... I learned just how different we were when it comes to showing our appreciation and love. She might not talk or express herself in words. well guess what, I need to hear that I'm good at something. She needs to hear that I'm thankful for what she did, but I'm prideful and would rather just give her a hug. Do you see the dilemma?
During a very emotional transfer, my wonderful mission president suggested that we discover what our "love language" was. Excuse me, what? Little did I think that this would save me in soo many ways!!
So what is a love language? First of all it's a book... i'm sure it's good and I'll read it one day. The author says about it
After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own... Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages
So what are these languages?
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
The point of this is to 1) find out which one you react to, and 2) ask the significant other what they react to. I can't expect a boyfriend to just "know", or fault him if he doesn't express love exactly in the way I want him to. Easier said than done, yeah?
If you wanna take the test and see what your love language is you can take the test...
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/
And if anyone wants to know... my love language is "words of affirmation," and "physical touch."
Mormon Man vs. Mormon Woman:
Last night at the flat I discussed with jason and ammon a list of "what men/women want" they received at FHE. I thought some were kind of stereotypical, but there were many that made me stop and think. I think one of my favorite was about how men need to feel like hero's. Girls, how often do we shoot guys down, or fail to recognize when they do something that is a big deal to them? Ammon made the point that after fixing the car he feels great about himself. Like he could accomplish anything. Well great, I don't want to ruin that.
I did a bit of research online this morning about what LDS bloggers are saying about dating and the role of women and men. I was quite surprised. There seemed to be blogs on everything from feminist movements to stereotypical housewife recipes. One particular blog, Mormon Men, caught my interest almost immediately (http://mormonmen.wordpress.com/). The author is divorced, active, and very open with his comments on women. Oddly enough I agreed with him on almost everything. His most recent article, the martyrdom of modern mormon women, was his rebuttal to an article written in a popular LDS blog about how it's all men's fault that girls don't date. He had a lot to say about that. one of my favorite quotes "Too many women, even those in the Church, have turned into narcissistic harpies who want to have their cake and eat it too. She believes that the sexual revolution has made women more valuable to men when it has done the exact opposite – it has turned them into our competitors." I might be guilty of this. How often do we as women get caught up and think that we will need to "compete" with our husbands? I'm competitive enough, why would I want that in my family? I want a companion, not a competitor.
On the opposite end of all this, I found a very interesting blog called "Feminist Mormon Housewives." This seems kind of contradictory to me. If you know me, you know that I am all about women's rights. But there are certain things that men do that we can't. Also, there are things that women do that men can't!! It's all part of our Heavenly Fathers plan for us! This blog does make me laugh... especially the coloring book article. She faults Disney for exploiting womens bodies (like tinkerbell) and making us object instead of people. What problem do I have with this? What's wrong with dressing nice to impress someone?! When I'm married I don't want to dress frumpy and ugly just because I don't have to "find" a husband any more. I want him to be happy too! You can still look hott (or dare I say... sexy?) and still conform to standards.
well this got off topic... I have to go to class...
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